Dave Kitson: Former Reading, Stoke and Portsmouth striker opens up about his battle with depression

Dave Kitson: Former Reading, Stoke and Portsmouth striker opens up about his battle with depression
Dave Kitson has lifted the lid on how he’s been battling depression for years.The former Stoke, Reading and Portsmouth striker played in the Premier League for all three clubs and revealed he was going through the worst of it at Pompey.6

Kitson said some of his displays in a Portsmouth shirt were one of a “pale imitation of a footballer”.

However, he was unable to take time off immediately as the south coast club were in administration and looking for reasons to terminate the contract of any player.Writing in his column for The Sun, Kitson said: “I have been fighting my own battle for years. As I climbed the leagues I found I took on more wealth and fame but all the time I was painting myself into a corner.“As things got bigger, the space I had to move became smaller until I felt it choking me.“Depression is cruel. At certain moments it has rendered me helpless. “There were times playing for Portsmouth when I shouldnt have been anywhere near the training ground, let alone the pitch. But at the time theclub was in administration and the owners were desperately trying to find ways to sack players for breach of contract, so not turning up wasnt an option. It was a torturous spiral for everybody.“What I produced on the pitch was a pale imitation of a footballer and a classic example of a man with clinical depression.“I do not blame the fans for screaming at me from the stands but there were so many times that I wanted to scream back at them: ‘You dont understand!’6

Kitson was unable to address his mental health issues immediately due to Portsmouth’s dire financial situation at the time

“They didnt know what the problem was and I wasnt about to offer up what Im sure many would have considered a pathetic excuse from a grown man playing pro football.“At home I couldnt move from the sofa, the TV wasnt on and I didnt eat. I just stared out of the window.“I was non-functioning and hopelessly lost and eventually the illness convinced my brain the best thing for everybody concerned would be if I found a way to put an end to it all.“I was officially diagnosed at Portsmouth by a fantastic doctor called Greg Warner, after Id deliberately driven my car into the concrete pillar of a bridge.6

Kitson’s decision to open up was partly-inspired by hearing ex-Portsmouth team-mate David Cotterill’s story

“Today, I survive on a cocktail of medication and regular visits to a psychiatrist.”Depression is an illness that is affecting more and more footballers, including Kitson’s ex-Portsmouth team-mate David Cotterill.Kitson added that it was Cotterill’s decision to open up that helped inspire him to do the same.He added: “Im still here and thankfully a lot of the depression that came from knowing that I can never play professional football again has given way to a new chapter in my life.6

Kitson in action for Stoke in 2009

“Im new to punditry and writing columns and, as such, Ive found that I regularly come in for criticism from ex-players and managers from a bygone era who believe I have gone against some kind of prehistoric code of silence by talking about what really happens within the game. And in particular, what happens inside the changing rooms.“But look at where that code has brought us.“The idea that what happens in the changing room stays in the changing room is a recipe for a lonely existence that ultimately leads to depression and, in the worst cases, death.6

Ex-Burnley captain Clarke Carlisle has gone public about his ongoing battle with depression

A third of ex-players suffer from mental illness with that number predicted to soar, while German goalkeeper Robert Enke took his own life in November 2009.Former Burnley captain Clarke Carlisle has tried to kill himself on multiple occasions, having previously spoken about his battle with depression.Kitson added: “Clearly, the pressure of professional football is a major problem for an ever-increasing number of players.“Its a real illness and it doesnt discriminate based on the job you do or the wealth you have.6

Former Hannover 96 keeper Robert Enke committed suicide in 2009 after struggling to cope with the death of his daughter

“So the question is not: ‘What have you footballers got to be depressed about?’“The question is: ‘Why are these players trying to kill themselves?'”If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, these organisations will provide support . . . CALMwww.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585858 HEADS TOGETHERwww.headstogether.org.ukMINDwww.mind.org.uk, 0300 1233393 PAPYRUSwww.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 0684141 SAMARITANSwww.samaritans.org116123

---

Chelsea training ground row: Video of David Luiz appearing to elbow Gonzalo Higuain ahead of Europa League final David Luiz appeared to catch Gonzalo Higuain in the face with a late elbow, sparking a training ground altercation. At the Olympic Stadium in Baku on Tuesday talkSPORT 1 week ago Also reported by •WorldNews
Chelsea training row: Remembering when Claude Makelele two

---

Newcastle United transfer news: Magpies linked with move for Bundesliga midfielder, and AFC Bournemouth star Newcastle United are arguably just a win away from securing their top flight status for next season, at which point attention will turn to Rafa Benitez's future and the summer transfer plans.
Newcastle ace Ayoze Perez delivers key update on his future

---

We look back at Lionel Messi's best goals in LaLiga after the Barcelona superstar reached 400 in Spain's top flight. the 86th goal of the calendar year for the Argentine. It was a typically
Lionel Messi - Khelpanda

---

Sarri 'didn't know anything' about Chelsea signing Pulisic

---

Manchester City could be banned from the Champions League if they are found to have flouted financial fair play rules by a Uefa investigation Published: 3 Dec 2018 Manchester City may face
Q&A on Manchester City, Financial Fair Play and a possible

---

Maurizio Sarri won 39 matches in his debut Chelsea campaign only Jose Mourinho managed more in his first season at the club. Chelsea beat Arsenal to win the Europa League in Baku on Wednesday night
Jose Mourinho back to Chelsea? Maybe it is not such a crazy

---

'Mohamed Salah went to a better drama school than me!' - Vinnie Jones on Liverpool star's 'dive' against Cardiff Vinnie Jones has joked Liverpool star Mohamed Salah is a better actor than he is after the Egyptian's 'dive' against Cardiff City. Bluebirds boss Neil talkSPORT 1 week ago
Cardiff 0-2 Liverpool: Watch Mohamed Salah's frustrated

---

Manchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer reveals what he has learned from disappointing season. Solskjaer believes that, after a difficult run of results, he now knows who he can build his team around
Man Utd boost as Paul Pogba reveals his special relationship

---

Champions League Final pitch invader Kinsey Wolanski trolls Tottenham star. Kinsey Wolanski raced onto the pitch during Tottenham's Champions League Final defeat to Liverpool in Madrid

---

Sport > Football > Premier League Premier League title race: Who has the best fixtures in the run-in? Manchester City or Liverpool? With eight games remaining, where could the Premier League title
Liverpool losing Premier League title race to Manchester City
sports.weblife24.com/liverpool-losing-premier-league-title-race-to-manchester-city-is-tragic-bad-luck-says-dean-saunders-on-tal/
Dean Saunders says Liverpool losing the Premier League title race to Manchester City is like 'the best race horse in the world' being beaten by 'a horse from nowhere'. The ex-Reds striker says finishing runners-up would be 'tragic bad luck' and insists this season should NOT be deemed a failure, even if Jurgen Klopp's side end the
Manchester City vs Chelsea: Why Pep Guardiola thinks Sunday's

---

Denis Suarez is still not ready to feature for a full 90 minutes in the Premier League, says coach Unai Emery. Midfielder Suarez, 25, joined Arsenal on loan in January having grown frustrated with
Denis Suárez is ready to make an impact for Arsenal, says

---

Christian Eriksen 's agent has said the Tottenham Hotspur midfielder won't be drawn into speculation over his future amid rumours of a move to Real Madrid Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino
Pochettino unconcerned about Eriksen future amid contract

---

After all this, fans still seemed to emphasize his stellar play. After he signed with Richmond, their membership sales soared. John McEnroe won seventeen Grand Slam titles, owns a record streak of forty-two matches unbeaten and is regarded as the best player in front of the baseline in the Open Era.
Sports News, 4 Feb 2018 | 15 Minute News - Know the News

---

FOX has won the English-language TV rights in the United States for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup tournaments, says several sources. UPDATE: FOX and Telemundo, combined, paid more than a staggering $1 billion for rights to the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, according to Reuters.
Dean Smith an Aston Villa fan gets dream job - AVFC VILLA BLOG

---

Wolves boss Nuno Espirito Santo has warned record buy Adama Traore he must improve as the club closes in on Tammy Abraham.. Forward Traore, who signed for £18million from Middlesbrough, has
Chelsea transfers: Alvaro Morata 'close' to Sevilla move, but
hollywoodadviser.com/chelsea-transfers-alvaro-morata-close-to-sevilla-move-but-deal-will-dent-blues-chances-of-signing-gonzalo-higuain-reports/
ARGY BARGY The Rossonieri will take Morata off Chelsea's hands, but want to give them the Argentine in return Alvaro Morata is close to sealing a return to LaLiga with Sevilla, according to reports. However, Chelsea risk missing out on AC Milan star Gonzalo Higuaín if the move does go through.
~ West Ham United fan throws horse manure at Birmingham City

---